I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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