I want to have your abortion
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
