YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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