I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
