i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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