You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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