I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
