he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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