spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
