Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
