i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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