I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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