It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
