just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
