just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
