somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
