They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
