and she was petting her beer can
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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