im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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