I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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