i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
