So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
