but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
