Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
