The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
