What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
