Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
