I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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