I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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