Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
