So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
