my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
