You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Randomize
