she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I think I am morally bankrupt
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
