i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
