Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Randomize
