STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
