I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
