just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
