apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
