What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
