I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
