I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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