Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
