Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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