Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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