There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
