im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
