I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
