That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
