Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
