Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
