You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The struggles of a small town man whore
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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